✨Are You Leading .. or People-Pleasing? (024)

Stepping into leadership often brings influence, impact, and purpose. But it also shines a light on habits we may not even realise we carry. One of the most common and most exhausting — is people-pleasing.

If you’ve ever measured your worth by how much you help, how often you agree, or how quickly you take on extra work, you’re not alone. Chronic people-pleasing slowly erodes your sense of self, energy, and well-being - something that's increasingly documented by health experts.

What It Looks Like in Real Life

Do any of this sound familiar?

• Saying yes when you’re already stretched thin — just to avoid disappointing others.

• Believing your value lies in how much you give, rather than what you create or lead.

• Dodging conflict, even when honest disagreement could strengthen relationships.

• Accepting tasks that don’t align with your priorities or values.

• Feeling guilty even for considering the word no.

These are the quiet signs of yes-addiction — and they often show up strongest when you step into leadership.

Why Saying No is Not Just Refusal

Saying no isn’t about being cold or selfish. It’s about making conscious choices that protect what matters most. In fact, every no you choose wisely is also a yes:

•  A yes to your health and peace of mind.

•  A yes to clarity about what you stand for.

•  A yes to respect — both self-respect and the respect of others.

•  A yes to sustainable leadership, where you can actually show up fully for others.

Here's what actually works

If you recognise yourself in any of this, here are practices you can experiment with this week:

• Pause before you answer. Even a breath or a promise to “get back to you” creates space to choose.

• Check the trade-off. If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to (rest, family, focus)?

• Try kind but firm language. “Thanks for asking, I don’t have capacity for that right now” often lands better than you think.

• Start small. Practice saying no in low-stakes areas so you’re ready for bigger asks.

• Notice the wins. When you say no, pay attention to what opens up — energy, presence, creativity, peace.

A Reflection for You

• Where are you saying yes on autopilot?

• What no do you need to practice this week?

• What would that no free up for you — health, focus, connection, creativity?

Take five minutes, jot down your answers, and see what you learn.

 🔥 Remember: Leadership isn’t about doing it all. It’s about choosing what matters most and protecting your spark so you can burn bright, not out.

 👉 I’d love to hear from you: What's one 'no' that changed everything for you? Reply and tell me - your story might be exactly what another leader needs to hear.

To your spark,
Mary