✨Demystifying What Psychological Safety Is Not (032)

When my recent article on asking for help, and making it safe for everyone hit a 59.1% open rate, it confirmed what I suspected: people are desperate for this kind of safety.

People want permission...
- To ask for help (without looking weak)
- To lead authentically (not perfectly)
- To pause (without falling behind)

So, let’s delve deeper into what psychological safety really means — and what it absolutely doesn’t.

What Psychological Safety Is (and Isn’t)

Psychological safety isn’t about being “nice” or avoiding tough conversations.
It’s a shared belief within a team that it’s safe to take interpersonal risks to speak up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes — without fear of punishment or humiliation.

It’s the foundation of candor, collaboration, and learning in a world that’s constantly changing.

As Amy Edmondson, the Harvard researcher who pioneered this work, reminds us:

Yet here’s the catch — most leaders are accidentally killing psychological safety while trying to create it.

How Good Intentions Go Wrong

A well-meaning leader postpones telling Sarah her presentation missed the mark, thinking silence will protect her confidence. But instead, Sarah keeps repeating the same mistakes — and quietly wonders why she’s not progressing.

That’s not kindness. That’s avoidance dressed up as care.

By shielding people from feedback, leaders unintentionally create a culture where no one feels safe enough to “rock the boat.”

And here’s the paradox — that version of safety quietly erodes trust, learning, and energy.

Safety Is Not the Absence of Discomfort

It’s the presence of respect — even when there’s tension.
It’s not about never being challenged.
It’s about knowing that when you are challenged, you’ll still belong.

Real safety isn’t a padded room; it’s a sturdy framework that lets people lean in without falling apart.

When we equate safety with comfort, we create teams that play small.
When we equate safety with perfection, we breed silence.
When we equate safety with control, we choke curiosity.

So, What Is Real Safety?

It’s when someone can say,

It’s when feedback feels like care, not criticism.
It’s when mistakes are mined for insight, not shame.
And it’s when leaders show that strength isn’t about knowing everything — it’s about creating space where everyone can grow.

This Week’s Reflection

Where in your world might “safety” be disguising itself as silence?
Where might “care” have drifted into control?

Try replacing one protective silence with one brave conversation.
Notice what happens when you choose respect over comfort.

If This Resonates…

Forward this to a colleague who values culture over compliance.
Or revisit your next team meeting — where could you replace safe silence with brave dialogue?

Because the brightest teams don’t avoid heat — they learn how to channel it.

To your spark,
Mary