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- ✨Self-Care Without Guilt (025)
✨Self-Care Without Guilt (025)
Reclaiming your right to rest
Mary Vaz
September 19, 2025
This edition we focus on Why You Deserve Self-Care and How to Make It Stick.
If you’ve ever hesitated to take rest or squeezed self-care in only when you “have enough time” this edition is for you. Because turning self-care into a guilt-free, life-affirming practice isn’t just nice. It’s essential.
What the research and experience tell us
Many of us carry cultural messages that e.g. “being productive is what matters,” “others come first,” or “helping out always trumps my own rest.”
Rest, boundaries, saying “no” - these often trigger guilt not because we are doing something wrong, but because we’ve been conditioned to see our value in busyness and being indispensable.
True self-care is more than bubble baths or occasional getaways. It can be small, daily, even mundane acts: drinking water, logging off social media, choosing rest over perfection. These acts restore energy, protect mental health, and honor your boundaries.
Guilt often shows up when you do something different from what you’re used to - pausing, saying “no,” stepping back. But those moments are precisely when you are challenging old conditioning. With repetition, choosing yourself becomes more natural.
The ABCDs of Guilt-Free Self-Care
Here’s a framework to help you build self-care that feels right for you, without shame.
Letter | What this means | A small way to start today |
|---|---|---|
A: Awareness / Acknowledge | Notice when guilt arises. What belief or expectation is underneath it? (“If I rest, people will think I’m lazy.” “I should always be helping.”) | When guilt appears this week, pause: ask yourself, What am I afraid will happen if I prioritise me? Jot it down. |
B: Build new definitions & mindset | Reframe self-care not as a luxury or reward, but as basic maintenance. Your worth is not measured by productivity. Self-care is survival. | Pick one belief you’ve accepted that undermines rest (e.g. “I must always be busy”) and challenge it, e.g., “My rest does more good than pushing myself further.” |
C: Curate practices that fit your life | Self-care is deeply personal: what works for someone else may feel draining for you. Rituals don’t have to be big or perfect. Even five minutes of “just breathing” counts. | Create a short daily ritual this week (even 2-5 min) -walking, mindful breathing, journalling, and see how it feels. |
D: Disarm guilt through permission & boundary-setting | Learn to say “no” (without over-justifying). Give yourself permission to rest. Let go of perfection. Embrace compassion for your own humanity. When you stop apologising for your needs, you make space for authenticity. | At least once this week, say “no” to something that drains you OR set a boundary (“I’m offline after 6 pm,” etc.). Notice how it feels. |
Your mission this week
From Canva
Notice the guilt. When it shows up, don’t push it away, see what beliefs are causing it.
Practice a small ritual. Even something simple, like eating food that nourishes you.
Say “no” where you need to. Be kind but firm. It’s okay to protect your energy.
Give yourself grace. Some days self‐care will look beautiful. Some days messy. That’s human.
Why this matters - for you and everyone else
When you care for yourself, you’re more present, more patient, more able to give from fullness, not depletion.
You model self‐respect and healthy boundaries for the people in your life. Your rest becomes permission for others to rest.
The world needs people who burn bright without burning out.
Closing with Kindness
You are not a machine. You are whole. You are worthy of care, simply because you are here.
Here’s to choosing yourself today!
To your spark,
Mary