Not by a person necessarily…
but by a process.
A system.
A moment where what should make sense suddenly doesn’t.
We all negotiate every day, even if it’s not in a boardroom.
You negotiate expectations at work.
You negotiate emotional labour at home.
You negotiate what you will tolerate… and what you will no longer accept.
But what happens when the environment you’re in asks you to put your values aside “just for now”?
This is where quiet burnout begins.
Not the dramatic kind.
The subtle kind.
The kind that nibbles at your identity.
Because burnout isn’t just about workload.
It’s also about values friction —
the emotional toll of acting out of alignment with who you are and what matters to you.
Most days, negotiation is constructive.
It’s thoughtful.
It’s about finding solutions that work for everyone.
But then there are days when something shifts.
When you’re quietly told, in words or energy…. to park common sense, logic, or fairness…
Just to “get it done.”
That’s when it hits differently.
Because at that point, you’re no longer just managing outcomes.
You’re managing yourself.
The Negotiation No One Sees
The hardest one of all…
happens inside your own head.
“Don’t make a fuss.”
“Just push through.”
“You should be grateful.”
“Others have it worse.”
This is the inner bargaining that slowly teaches you to shrink.
Not in one big moment.
But in a thousand small ones.
This is often where burnout begins.
Not from working too much…
but from leaving yourself out of the conversation.
When the Way Forward Conflicts with Who You Are
This is leadership when it stops looking impressive.
The inner tension when:
the process feels off
the outcome matters, but so does how you get there
you’re asked to “make it work” in ways that don’t sit right
And it’s here, in these quiet moments —
that burnout takes on a different shape.
Not exhaustion from busyness…
but depletion from disconnection.
When you start questioning not just the work but your place within it.
Burnout isn’t always about doing too much.
Sometimes it’s about being asked to be someone you’re not…
again and again, in small ways.
When Everything Feels Shaky, Remember This
Your values are not a luxury.
They are your inner compass — especially when the world feels off-kilter.You don’t have to abandon yourself to keep the peace.
Boundaries are how you look after yourself while still showing up.You can participate without absorbing the pressure.
You can lead without carrying everything.
A Reflection for the Week
Where in your life do you feel nudged to compromise yourself “just a little”?
And what would it look like to choose alignment instead?
Not dramatically.
Just quietly.
Maybe it’s:
a pause instead of a push
a question instead of compliance
a boundary instead of resentment
a truth instead of silence
Your spark isn’t lost in hard moments.
It dims only when you stop honouring what matters to you.
A Gentle Reminder
Feeling tested doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means your values are alive.
It means you care.
And choosing to care in a world that rewards detachment is exactly how you….
Burn bright…Not out.
Until next week,
Mary