✨Growing Through Poor Leadership (026)

Have you ever learned more from a bad boss than a good one?

Yet here's what's interesting. If you've ever worked under a leader who left you frustrated, confused, or undervalued, you probably learned more than you realised.

A client recently told me:

Sound familiar?

Why poor leadership leaves a mark

When communication is vague, decisions feel inconsistent, or listening is non-existent, it doesn’t just frustrate, it stirs up heavy emotions:

• When priorities change weekly with no context.

• When feedback lands as criticism, never coaching.

• When your ideas get shot down without explanation.

These experiences don’t just stay in the office. They leave marks on your confidence, your motivation, even your sense of self.

What bad leaders actually do

If you’ve been on the receiving end, you’ll recognise some of these patterns:

• Avoid accountability — pointing fingers when things go wrong.

• Lead through fear — silencing people instead of inspiring them.

• Stay vague on the “why” — expecting commitment without context.

• Speak more than they listen — cutting off ideas or dismissing concerns.

• Change direction without notice — leaving teams confused and resentful.

Each of these behaviours chips away at trust. And they stick with us, often longer than we’d like.

Turning frustration into fuel

Think about the hardest leader you’ve worked with. Ask yourself:

• What did I wish they had done differently?

• What impact did their words or actions have on me?

• How can I flip that into a guiding principle for my own leadership?

That’s exactly what the newly promoted leader did. Instead of replaying the hurt, she built her Leadership Promise:

• To listen before reacting.

• To own mistakes openly.

• To create safety, not fear.

• To explain the “why” behind decisions.

What promises work best

Here are some of the most powerful promises I’ve seen leaders make and keep:

• “I will make time to listen, even when I’m busy.”

• “I will share the context behind decisions, not just the outcome.”

• “I will recognise contributions in the moment, not months later.”

• “I will protect space for wellbeing as much as I protect deadlines.”

• “I will admit mistakes, and invite others to do the same without fear.”

Simple words, yes but powerful when lived consistently.

Your turn: Write your Leadership Promise

Here’s a simple exercise to try:

As a leader, I promise to ____________________ so that the people I lead can ____________________.

Pin it on your desk. Share it with your team. Revisit it often.

Why this matters for you

Poor leadership may have burned you once. But you don’t have to let it burn you out. You can use those scars as signposts—reminders of what not to repeat, and fuel to create the culture you once wished for.

This Week’s Nudge

Take 5 minutes this week. Write down three things your worst boss did that you swore you’d never repeat. Then flip each one into a positive promise about the leader you’re becoming.

Closing with Kindness

Thank you for making space in your day to read this. May it be a gentle nudge to lead with presence, compassion, and intention.

To your spark,

Mary