✨When Trust Deepens, Listening Leads

Over the last two editions of Burn Bright, Not Out, we explored trust — how it’s built, tested, and sometimes quietly repaired.

This week, I want to stay with the thread a little longer.

A question I shared on LinkedIn, “What’s one small thing life has taught you that’s changed how you show up at work?” sparked thoughtful reflections from leaders across different roles and industries:

That feedback lingered with me because it captures something many of us only learn after a hard season, not before it.

The quiet shift: from fixing to listening

When work becomes complex or ambiguous, our reflex is often to speed up:

• clarify the plan

• solve the problem

• reduce discomfort

But uncertainty does something else too.

It slows the momentum.

And in that slowing, a different kind of leadership is called for.

Not louder communication. Not faster answers.

But the discipline of listening — especially to what isn’t written or spoken out loud.

Listening beyond words

For leaders who want to grow their awareness of the unspoken and the unwritten, listening isn’t a soft add-on.

It’s foundational.

High-quality listening looks like:

• noticing hesitation before someone speaks

• sensing subtle shifts in energy when a topic is raised

• allowing silence without rushing to fill it

• staying present when discomfort appears

This isn’t passive.

It’s skilled.

And it’s often forged in difficult seasons.

Why uncertainty changes how we lead

One reflection shared with me said it perfectly:

I agree.

Pressure strips away performance. Uncertainty exposes what already exists.

In those moments, people aren’t evaluating our answers.

They’re sensing:

• Are you grounded or rushed?

• Are you present or already thinking three steps ahead?

• Do you see me, or just the task?

This is why leadership presence so often comes from lived experience.

Not because experience gives certainty but because it teaches you how to stay when certainty disappears.

The science behind listening (why it really works)

This isn’t just intuition or anecdote. It’s strongly supported by research.

Here are a few gold nuggets from “The Power of Listening at Work” published by Annual Reviews (Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior, 2022):

1. Listening is a strategic capability

High-quality listening consistently predicts stronger trust, better performance, improved well-being, and more positive attitudes at work.

Listening isn’t just politeness. It’s productivity.

2. Listening creates “togetherness”

The research describes episodic listening — moments where genuine listening creates mutual clarity and joint thinking.

Understanding isn’t transferred. It’s co-created.

3. Why people thrive when they feel heard

When people experience real listening:

• psychological safety increases

• stress reduces

• engagement rises

• knowledge sharing improves

Trust doesn’t come from certainty. It comes from being met in the moment.

4. Listening is learnable

Listening isn’t a personality trait. It’s a teachable leadership skill, shaped by intention, behaviour, and context.

So… which comes first: trust or listening?

After sitting with both lived experience and the research, here’s where I’ve landed:

Trust doesn’t deepen because everything is clear. It deepens because someone stayed long enough to listen.

Often, the loop looks like this:

Listening → Feeling seen → Feeling safe → Trusting → Opening Up

Not dramatic. Not performative.

Just quietly human.

A gentle reflection for your week

As you move through the days ahead:

You don’t need to resolve everything.

Sometimes, staying with the moment is what builds the most trust of all.

Until next week, Burn bright — not out. ✨

To your spark,
Mary